Lets Talk Mental Health

Its International Men’s Day this week and Men’s Health Awareness Month this month. As part of that, we are looking at issues that affect men and in doing so, hopefully raise a little more awareness around them.

Today we wanted to talk about mental health.

The conversation around mental health has grown exponentially over the last 10 years or so, and whilst there is still a long way to go, the stigma that was once attached is rapidly disappearing. Recognising mental health as something that we need to look after in the same way as our physical health is paramount to being able to cope with the stresses that life throws at us. Todays world can be exceptionally difficult to navigate, and with current figures suggesting that 1 in 4 people are suffering with mental health problems at any one time, its imperative that we continue to drive conversation around this topic.

Mental health doesn’t discriminate and gender will not dictate whether you are more likely to suffer, but what gender does seem to suggest is the way individuals deal with mental health issues.

Suicide rates in the UK are continuing to rise despite the shift in thinking around mental health, but we continue to see male suicide dominating the figures. 74% of all suicide victims in 2023 in the UK were men and this has been the overall percentage for several years.

For some reason, despite the open conversation, the men in our lives still feel unable to ask for help when they are struggling, and for us to be able to bring these figures down, we need to start asking the tough questions.

What are we doing wrong? Where do we need to make change? How do we create an environment that encourages them to speak up when they feel like they cannot and how do we protect them from getting to a point where suicide seems to be the only option?

For many years, men have been expected to be the ‘strong’ ones. From being children, if they fell they were encouraged to get back up and ‘shake it off’. Many were discouraged from showing emotions that would have been considered weak.

Enforcing those gender stereotypes and expectations has created an environment where a lot of men are unable to open up when they are struggling. Whether it is the belief that mental health issues don’t exist, that people will view them as weak, or they themselves view them as weakness, we have inadvertently created an environment that enforces the belief that they should be able to cope with whatever life throws at them because they are strong, dominant and in control.

The dialogue is changing, but when we are still losing people to suicide, whether male or female, it is not changing quickly enough.

So, given this, what are the signs that we should be looking for in the people that we love?

Anger, irritability, or aggressiveness
Noticeable changes in mood, energy level, or appetite
Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much
Difficulty concentrating, feeling restless, or on edge
Increased worry or feeling stressed
Misuse of alcohol, drugs, or both
Persistent sadness or feelings of hopelessness
Feeling flat or having trouble feeling positive emotions
Engaging in high-risk activities
Aches, headaches, or digestive problems without a clear cause
Obsessive thinking or compulsive behavior
Thoughts or behaviors that interfere with work, family, or social life
Thoughts of death or suicide or suicide attempts

Men and Mental Health – National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)

We can all have a bad day or two, but when it becomes something that is fairly constant then its time to let that person know that you are there for them. What research has found is that men are more likely to walk away from their lives ending up homeless, self medicate with alcohol or drugs when they are unable to deal with the issues they are experiencing or become prone to aggressive outbursts which puts those they love at risk as well.

All of these factors will make them more vulnerable and can be responsible for an increased risk of suicide.

We know what the possible warning signs are but when they are there, how do you approach the subject with someone who may not want to talk?

It can be difficult to get someone to open up, especially someone who has been conditioned to be strong but breaking through that wall is massively important. If you have concerns with regards to a friend or family member, there are small things that you can do to try and encourage them to get help.

Listen without judgement. They may not want to talk immediately and it may take time for them to open up, but when they do, they need you to allow them to just talk. We sometimes find ourselves comparing our own experiences and if someone is trusting you enough to talk, its important that you don’t interrupt them.
When you are trying to help someone with mental health issues, its important to remember that they may find it hard to reach out. They aren’t ignoring you. Sometimes the effort to call or send a message can feel like too much. Keep the contact going with them. That text or call could make a huge difference when someone is struggling.
Spend some time looking at what help is available. Many men are not comfortable with speaking to a GP but there are men’s groups all over the country now specifically set up as a safe space for men who are struggling. Sometimes, being around other men who are going through similar things is enough to start the process of healing.
Help them to get help. Helping them to understand that asking for help doesn’t make them weak is a huge step forward.
Most importantly, look after yourself. It can be hard being there for someone else who is suffering and its important that you consider your own wellbeing. You can’t help someone if you are struggling yourself so remember – put your mask on first.

Our understanding of mental health is changing and we have made huge strides forward, but while we are still losing people, there is a long way to go. Remember to check in on the people around you and on yourself.

Treatment for mental health problems will never be a ‘one size fits all’, and it may take trying a few different things to find a solution that truly helps, but if you are willing to ask, there are many, many people out there who will do whatever they can to help facilitate change and allow you to get back to being you again.

If you are in need of help or know anyone who is struggling, check out the list below, get in touch and remember…..